I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize