Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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