piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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