Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
