You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
