I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
