Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
