Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
