Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
