U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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