You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
