Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
