she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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