even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
