do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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