Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
