this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
