You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
