there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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