I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize