Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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