Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
