Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
