Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
