he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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