Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
