some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
