Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The air taste purple.
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