So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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