My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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