Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
