it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
