So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
