Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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