Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize