Sponge bath it is.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
