ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
