sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
