Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
