Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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