I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize