Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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