You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
