its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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