OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
