we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
