goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize