Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
