he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
