My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
