I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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