She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize