I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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