Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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