I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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