garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
