Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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