I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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