A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
