maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
