Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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