nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
